The Millers came to therapy after their 14-year-old daughter, Chloe, was caught self-harming. In the first session, Chloe was bright, witty, and helpful—the quintessential "Now she’s playing" performance. Her parents said, "You see? She’s fine. She’s just doing this for attention at home."
The therapist gently noted that Chloe’s smile did not reach her eyes. Over six weeks, using narrative family therapy, they discovered that Chloe’s "violet gem" was her deep sensitivity—a trait her pragmatic parents had inadvertently dismissed as "weakness." By the fourth session, the father admitted, "I realize I’ve been playing too. I pretend I don’t feel sad about losing my job last year." Violet Gems - Now Shes Playing - Family Therapy