Since you didn't paste the text of the draft itself, I cannot give you line-by-line feedback. However, I can offer a based on the tropes of the genre to help you strengthen your outline or draft.
Visual Novel / NTR / Psychological Drama Theme: Idol Culture, Betrayal, Moral Decay
While it was initially slated for Steam , it was banned and removed from the platform before its full release. It is currently available on DLsite and other adult-oriented storefronts.
Since you didn't paste the text of the draft itself, I cannot give you line-by-line feedback. However, I can offer a based on the tropes of the genre to help you strengthen your outline or draft.
Visual Novel / NTR / Psychological Drama Theme: Idol Culture, Betrayal, Moral Decay NTR Idol - Promesa de suenos
While it was initially slated for Steam , it was banned and removed from the platform before its full release. It is currently available on DLsite and other adult-oriented storefronts. Since you didn't paste the text of the